The most profound things people would learn from spending time with someone living with dementia or Alzheimers.
The brain is not just “memory.”
It is personality, judgment, emotional regulation, sequencing, language, awareness, habits, identity, and even the ability to recognize danger or care for oneself.
Observing these relegations moved me to research our brain health at bit deeper, rather than make assumptions.
When you spend several days closely observing someone with cognitive decline, you start noticing how much of daily life depends on tiny invisible mental systems all working together within our brains.
- repeated questions
- confusion about time or place
- difficulty following steps
- emotional shifts
- forgetting meals, medication, or hygiene
- trouble making decisions
- changes in sleep
- paranoia or suspicion
- loss of filtering or social awareness
- moments of clarity mixed with confusion
And for many people like me, it creates a deep self-awareness. “What habits am I building now that will support my brain later?” That awareness can actually be healthy and empowering.
What researchers increasingly believe is that brain deterioration is often influenced by a combination of factors such as:
- genetics
- cardiovascular health
- inflammation
- diabetes
- sleep quality
- stress
- isolation/loneliness
- alcohol or substance overuse
- hearing loss
- depression
- lack of movement/exercise
- poor nutrition
- repeated trauma or head injury
Not every case is preventable, and some people do “everything right” and still develop dementia. But many lifestyle patterns appear to affect “brain resilience and cognitive reserve.”
People often come away from experiences like mine realizing:
- sleep matters more than they thought
- stress truly affects the brain
- social and loving connections matter
- movement/exercise protects more than muscles
- hydration and nutrition matter
- routine and mental stimulation matter
- emotional regulation matters
- protecting one’s peace to prevent stress/depression really does matter
There’s also another lesson many people learn emotionally. Even when memory fades, emotion often remains.
A person may forget names, dates, or conversations — but still respond deeply to:
- kindness
- music
- touch
- tone of voice
- calm energy
- patience
- feeling safe
That’s why caregivers often say the disease teaches them about humanity, patience, vulnerability, and dignity.
And one important thing.
Being more aware of your own memory after witnessing dementia is common. Many people temporarily become hyper-aware of every forgotten word or misplaced item. Ordinary forgetfulness from stress, aging, lack of sleep, anxiety, multitasking, or overload is very different from progressive cognitive decline.
Some of the strongest evidence-based protective habits are:
- regular walking/exercise
- good sleep
- blood pressure control
- staying socially connected
- learning new things
- reducing chronic stress
- eating more whole foods/Mediterranean-style foods
- staying hydrated
- limiting excessive alcohol
- protecting hearing and vision
- maintaining purpose and engagement in life
Finally, what I know for sure…
an understanding that mental clarity is precious and should be actively cared for, not assumed.
*Ms. Queenie is my 88 year old friend, who lives in Charlotte, NC.
MY GIRL
I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May
I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin’ ’bout my girl, my girl
By the Temptations, 1964
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This blog “may have been “ created with the assistance of multiple AI platforms for images, research to ensure accuracy, and clarity in writing. Vr Tena
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