Time on My Hands—and I’m finally Grateful

Time on my hands
Since you been away Ma
I ain’t got no plans
No no no no…
And the sound of the rain
Against my window pane
Is slowly, slowly, telling me to slow down – it’s alright. *Adopted from the song “I’m going down” by MJ Blige.

What do you do when there’s nothing left to do?

My mother is resting eternally. No more suffering. My house is spotless—ready for any showing or unexpected visitor. The bags are packed. Everything is in order. And suddenly… I find myself with time on my hands.

At first, it felt strange. Rare. Almost uncomfortable. But then I realized—this is a gift. I’ve never slowed down like this.

So many people are rushing through life, juggling responsibilities, caring for aging or ill parents, navigating grief and disappointments, or just trying to keep their heads above water. And here I am… still. Quiet. Free.

This moments of stillness isn’t empty—it’s full.

Full of gratitude.

Full of possibilities.

Full of love.

I tell myself, I can fill this time with joy, with rest, with care for my body, service to others, community, learning, and self-love.

Yes, I’ve got time on my hands—but I’d rather have time than no time 🙏🏽 Miss you Ma!